


I love the way you're talking to me

by thunderingskies



Series: This place where we’re together is heaven [3]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Cuddling & Snuggling, Developing Relationship, Falling In Love, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Jaemin and Hyuck are platonic soulmates, M/M, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-08
Updated: 2020-01-02
Packaged: 2021-01-25 09:33:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21354088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thunderingskies/pseuds/thunderingskies
Summary: Four times Donghyuck falls for Xuxi and Mark separately, and the one time he realizes that maybe it’s okay to love them both.Or, alternatively: Donghyuck learns the hard way that life is difficult, love is complicated and what matters the most is his own happiness.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan & Na Jaemin, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas
Series: This place where we’re together is heaven [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1440157
Comments: 23
Kudos: 200





	1. Xuxi

**Author's Note:**

> I'm really excited to share this story with you all- I hope you enjoy! ♥

The first time that Donghyuck meets Xuxi, it’s nearly two in the morning and he’s standing out on Kun’s porch. It’s freezing- the middle of autumn has brought cold winds and he’s shivering as he peels off his favourite purple hoodie that’s now covered in beer, hanging it over a nearby chair.

His best friend pouts at his side.

“I‘m sorry,” Jaemin repeats, unsteady on his feet as he leans into Donghyuck’s side. “Didn’t mean to.”

Donghyuck sighs. It’s hard to be mad when it’s Jaemin, his best friend and the only person who truly knows him inside and out. It’s hard to be mad even if he  _ did  _ wander up to Donghyuck, who was in the middle of enjoying himself dancing, only to spill cheap beer all down his front.

“It’s okay, Nana,” Donghyuck says, biting back a sigh. Jaemin can usually handle his snark, but when he’s drunk he gets soft and needs to be handled with care. He might be an idiot, but he’s Donghyuck’s idiot through and through. “Don’t worry, okay?” To further soothe him he runs a hand through Jaemin’s hair, squeezing the nape of his neck reassuringly. 

“Mkay.” Jaemin sighs into the touches, hugging Donghyuck closer, craving affection. 

He also  _ reeks  _ of booze. 

“How did you get so much more drunk than me?” Donghyuck wonders aloud, wrapping an arm around Jaemin’s waist to keep him steady. They’ve always engaged in skinship, even more so when drunk; Jaemin’s a human heater and Donghyuck loves that about him. “We’ve only been here like, two hours.”

Jaemin hums, pressing his face to Donghyuck’s neck tiredly. “We were playing beer pong,” he explains, settling against Donghyuck with a satisfied hum. 

Ah, well, that explains it. Jaemin definitely is not a lightweight but he  _ is _ absolute shit at beer pong. Donghyuck should have known better than to let Jeno wrestle him away when they’d been dancing.

“You suck at beer pong.” Donghyuck grins when Jaemin whines and jostles him with his shoulder. “You wanna go home?”

“Yeah, I’m gonna,” Jaemin says, pulling back from Donghyuck to brush some hair out of his face. “Renjunnie’s making Jeno eat some bread, then we’re gonna go. Jeno got so drunk on vodka and orange juice that I think he forgot he’s got allergies and he spent like an hour petting Yangyang’s cats.” Jaemin giggles. “He’s gonna to be so stuffy tomorrow.”

“Jeno has the alcohol tolerance of a PTA mom, babe. Nobody is surprised.” Donghyuck laughs. They really need to reinstate the ‘two beers or two glasses of wine- absolutely  _ no  _ hard liquor for Jeno’ rule. 

Those are Donghyuck’s other two roommates, along with Jaemin- Jeno and Renjun, who Donghyuck affectionately refers to as thing one and thing two, especially whenever they arrive home hand in hand looking frankly quite sickeningly lovey.

(Okay, maybe it’s cute that they’re dating or whatever. Donghyuck’s happy that Jeno’s finally found someone- he didn’t date anyone at all in high school, and there  _ was  _ a period where Donghyuck worried he might have a thing for Jaemin- but that seems to have long passed.)

The four of them have a nice, good balance in their home.

Jaemin, Donghyuck and Jeno have been friends for years, ever since Donghyuck’s family switched him to a new school back when he was eleven. Jaemin and Jeno had adopted Donghyuck into their fold and this past year, Renjun wormed his way in as their new college roommate.

“You need me to come?” Donghyuck asks, reaching for Jaemin’s hand to squeeze it. He doesn’t really want to go home yet, but best friend duties trump parties.

“Nah. Renjunnie can take care of me.” Jaemin finally pulls himself away from Donghyuck, stumbling back towards the door inside. “Have fun Hyuckie- and sorry about your hoodie.”

Ah, right. His  _ hoodie.  _

Donghyuck pinches Jaemin’s cheek. “Drink some water and have a snack when you get home, okay? You can even have some of my cookies I got from Taeyong-hyungie, if you want.”

At  _ that,  _ Jaemin brightens. “Really?” He grins and collapses on top of Donghyuck again in a strong hug. “I love you, Hyuckie.”

Donghyuck’s really, really lucky. He’s got such good friends.

“I love you too, you big baby.” Donghyuck looks up when the door opens and Renjun peeks out, looking a lot more sober, thankfully. “Injunnie, you sure you’re good with him?”

Renjun nods, laughing when Jaemin peels himself off of Donghyuck and attaches himself to Renjun instead, hands snaking around his hips, snuggling into the crook of his neck like a big, drunk puppy. “Yeah. Yuta-hyung’s gonna drive us back, Jeno’s already waiting out front.” He spins Jaemin off his back and when Jaemin whines in protest, he threads their fingers together instead.

“I won’t be too late,” Donghyuck promises, pulling Renjun into a hug. When they first became friends Renjun shied away from skinship a lot- he’s more used to it now, sliding an arm around Donghyuck to squeeze. “Give Jeno a hug from me, yeah?”

(It’s kind of Donghyuck’s thing. He’s not sure where exactly it stemmed from, but sometime in his teens he started making an effort to give all of his friends hugs before they parted ways and he’s just never dropped the habit. It helps him feel more secure, somehow. It helps that Jaemin and Jeno have always indulged him; and now, Renjun too.

He just likes being affectionate, okay?)

“I will,” Jaemin promises. Donghyuck pulls away from Renjun and laughs.

“And here I thought you were sleeping standing up.” He gives them both a little shove. “Now get going. I’ve got to make myself pretty again before I go back in there.”

The door shuts and Donghyuck’s left alone, his only company his beer-stained hoodie.

He sighs.

He could go inside and find Kun, who would sigh tiredly but definitely help him wash out his hoodie. He could find Yangyang, who would maybe show him where the washing machine is, but would definitely not object to Donghyuck stealing one of his hoodies. The last person who  _ actually  _ lives here, Guanheng, is probably too drunk off of half a wine cooler to do anything, so Donghyuck shuts down that idea quickly.

But the opening of the back door and footsteps pull him out of his thoughts and Donghyuck suddenly face-to-face with a face he doesn’t expect to see: Huang Xuxi. 

It’s the first time they’ve met. 

Okay, well- maybe it’s not right to say it’s the first time that they’ve  _ met,  _ since they run in the same circles (friends of friends sort of thing- Donghyuck's friends with Mark who's friends with Xuxi), but it’s the first time they’ve actually been alone together in a situation where they have to interact. Donghyuck knows next to nothing about Xuxi other than the fact that he looks like an absolute fuckboy: tall, broad and gorgeous, looking effortlessly good in a pair of plain jeans and a black hoodie. He smiles, a little lopsided but oh so cute, looking far too endearing for someone of his stature.

“Hi,” Xuxi greets him, voice quieter than Donghyuck’s ever heard him. 

Huh. Unexpected. As far as Donghyuck can remember, Xuxi is very  _ loud.  _

“Xuxi, right?” Donghyuck straightens up a little. “Mark’s roommate?”

“Yeah, that’s me.” Xuxi offers Donghyuck a sheepish smile, holding out his hand that’s holding two unopened bottles of beer. “Donghyuck, right? Do you want one?”

Donghyuck looks from the beer in Xuxi’s hand to his big, doe eyes. There’s something in them that Donghyuck likes- what, he’s not sure yet, but he knows his answer immediately, the words falling from his lips before he even thinks about it. “Sure. Why not?”

Xuxi smiles as he passes him his beer, and,  _ oh.  _ Donghyuck likes being the cause of that warm smile. 

“Where’s Jaemin?” Xuxi asks, looking around like he’s expecting Jaemin to burst out from behind one of Kun’s tomato plants.

(Okay, they’re together a  _ lot  _ of the time, but even that is a bit much.)

Donghyuck carefully rests this beer bottle against the railing next to him and whacks it once to pop off the cap in lieu of a bottle opener. “He went home. Injunnie took him and Jeno back.” 

“Another guy took your boyfriend home?” Xuxi looks at him with wide eyes.

_ “Boyfriend?”  _ Donghyuck almost chokes on his beer. “Last time I checked, I don’t have one of those. If I do, he certainly is not doing his job of carrying my books to class every day.”

Xuxi looks at him strangely. “Wait, aren’t you dating Jaemin?”

“What?” The prospect of dating Jaemin, no matter how much Donghyuck might love him, is kind of appalling. He loves him, yes- but not like  _ that.  _ “No!”

Now Xuxi just looks confused, face drawn into a cute little pout. “But I saw you kissing? Last week, at that party at Jaehyun-hyung’s?”

Donghyuck rolls his eyes. He remembers that party well- Jaemin and him had bet shots on who could make the other hard first just by kissing, although he has  _ no  _ idea how they got there. (Renjun and Jeno might have been watching. Dejun too, and apparently now Xuxi- who else hadn't he noticed watching them? Whatever, who cares, he’d won and forced three vodka shots on Jaemin.) “That was just platonic kissing. It’s how we bond.”

“Oh.” Xuxi looks like he doesn’t really understand, but Donghyuck’s pretty much used to that at this point. It takes everyone a while to understand his and Jaemin’s strange dynamic. “Do you kiss all of your friends like that?”

Donghyuck leans back against the railing, sipping his beer. “Like what?”

“There was…” Xuxi pauses, trying to figure out what he wants to say. He’s clearly a bit drunk- Donghyuck remembers that he’s from Hong Kong, and the way he’s struggling to find his words in Korean is extremely cute. “A lot of tongue.”

A shrug. Donghyuck knows where his talents lie. “I live by the strict policy that if you’re going to do something, you should do it right.” 

“Ah.” Xuxi smiles in that warm, puppy dog way of his, eyes flicking down Donghyuck’s body, sparking something warm and unfamiliar at the base of Donghyuck’s spine. “So you could… Wait. Are you cold?”

“Am I- what?” Donghyuck blinks, only just now realizing that he’s shaking. “I’m- it’s fine, don’t worry about it. It’s not that cold. Nana got beer all over my hoodie, so-"

Xuxi, apparently, isn’t listening anymore. Instead he tugs at the black hoodie he’s wearing, pulls it over his shoulders and holds it out for Donghyuck.

“Xuxi, you don’t-”

“I’m fine, seriously!” Xuxi pushes it a little closer, the fabric of the hoodie warm against Donghyuck’s hand. “I have a jacket inside. Take it. Please.”

Donghyuck looks between the black hoodie and Xuxi’s warm, open expression.

_ Ah, fuck it.  _

He tentatively curls his fingers around the hoodie and accepts it. “Um- thanks.” 

The hoodie is still  _ warm  _ from Xuxi’s body heat, and once it’s over his head Donghyuck gets a lung full of his cologne. The smell warms him from the inside out and he’s quick to shove his free hand in the front pocket, sighing contentedly.

Donghyuck looks up to see Xuxi beaming at him and Donghyuck’s stomach twists. “What, do I look ridiculous? I know it’s huge on me, but-”

“No! No, not at all.” Xuxi waves his hands in front of his face. “You look- you look cute.”

“Oh.” Donghyuck sinks down a little into himself, relaxing. It’s a good thing he’s still mostly sober or he might have blushed. Time to turn this around. “Xuxi, are you flirting with me?”

Now it's Xuxi's turn to blush. “I- I  _ mean-”  _ he moves his arms around like he might deny or like he doesn’t know what to say, then:  _ “yeah,  _ I am. Jeez, Hyuck, you really are just as big of a terror as Mark said you were.”

At that, Donghyuck can’t help but smile. 

The thing with Donghyuck is that he likes to talk, he likes to be flirty and cheeky, but not with people that he doesn’t really know. He does that to Jaemin or Jeno or Yangyang- not to boys that might actually be interested in him. 

(He’s never, ever actually been in a relationship. He’s done casual and nothing else- maybe a by-product of all the shit that’s gone down with his family, or maybe due to the years-long crush he’s harboured that has gone absolutely nowhere- but he doesn’t usually feel any desire to get to know boys that are clearly interested in him.)

But… Xuxi. 

Xuxi is tall and handsome and  _ here,  _ giving Donghyuck his full, undivided attention. And Donghyuck… maybe he wants, just a little bit. 

Maybe it’s time to let go of old crushes and hold on to someone new.

“Sorry, should I be calling you hyung?” Donghyuck asks cheekily, tipping back his beer and emptying it of its contents.

Xuxi laughs, warm and bright. “I like the sound of that, Hyuckie.”

Donghyuck could really, really get used to the way that Xuxi says his name. 

“Okay, hyung,” he says, pushing himself off the railing he’d been leaning on to crowd up into Xuxi’s space. He doesn’t miss Xuxi’s sharp inhale of breath when his hands smooth down the front of his white t-shirt. “Finish your beer, and let’s go back inside to dance? Maybe you can dance better than you can flirt.”

Xuxi steadies himself with a hand on Donghyuck’s hip and- wow. His hand curls around Donghyuck’s waist with ease, large palm warm and fingertips curious. He smells good, cologne light and fresh and just enough lingering scent of  _ boy  _ that it has Donghyuck’s toes curling. 

“Help me?” Xuxi requests, offering Donghyuck the bottle, still tucked between his fingers. Donghyuck nods in agreement, parting his lips for Xuxi to feed him a sip of his beer instead of taking it in his hands. Xuxi chews on his lower lip but obliges, bringing the bottle up to Donghhyuck’s lips delicately. The beer is still cold and settles warm in Donghyuck’s belly, the ghost of a smile on his lips when Xuxi pulls it back.

He dutifully finishes the rest of the bottle, reaching down to pluck Donghyuck’s empty one out of his hand so that he can leave them both on the table. Donghyuck makes a mental note to apologize to Kun later.

Xuxi holds one of his hands out in front of Donghyuck, palm-up.

(It’s like he knows exactly what Donghyuck wants.)

It feels good when Donghyuck intertwines their fingers, his slotting between Xuxi’s perfectly. Xuxi gives his hand a squeeze, nodding towards the door as he tugs Donghyuck back inside.

He pulls him right back to the living room where the music is loudest and it’s so easy to get lost.

Being with Xuxi is exhilarating.

(And he  _ definitely  _ dances better than he flirts.)

It’s nothing like what Donghyuck is used to- and maybe that’s what’s so great about it, so freeing. Xuxi’s everywhere while they dance; hands on Donghyuck’s waist, his hips, pressing their palms together. He leans into whatever Donghyuck wants, lets him move him wherever he pleases. 

Xuxi is tall and broad and  _ handsome.  _ It only becomes more apparent the more Donghyuck lets himself look, the more his hands find their way to Xuxi’s face or buried in his hair. He’s not usually this bold, doesn’t let himself get this touchy with someone so fast, but something about Xuxi tells him that it’s fine for him to be bold. 

Donghyuck loses track of time. He ignores Yangyang when he bowls into them and then proceeds to make way too obvious comments about how close they’re dancing, denies Jungwoo’s request to join them and he pulls Xuxi into the kitchen when he needs water and to get off his feet. He laughs when Xuxi scoops him up as soon as he says he’s tired, dutifully carrying him to the kitchen to drop him in a stool at the island.

“You don’t need to carry me,” Donghyuck laughs, shoving Xuxi back as soon as he’s let him go.

Xuxi smiles, turning to dig around in the cupboards until he finds a glass for water. Clearly, he knows his way around this kitchen. “But isn’t it more fun that way?” 

The party’s dying down by now- the crowd’s starting to thin out and it’s quieter in the kitchen, easier to talk.

Donghyuck readjusts on the stool, feeling warm and cozy in Xuxi’s hoodie. “How do you know Kun, Guanheng and Yangyang?” He asks, smiling in appreciation when Xuxi passes him a glass of cold water.

“Oh, we’re all in the same exchange program.” Xuxi sits down on the stool next to Donghyuck, reaching for his hand to play with the tips of his fingers that peek out past the sleeve of the hoodie he’s wearing. “We all have to take Korean classes together, so I know most of them. Kun does a lot of volunteering with foreign students, so he kind of brought us all together.”

“Ah. Do you like it here?” Donghyuck asks, eyes cast down to where Xuxi is drawing circles on the back of Donghyuck’s hand with his palm, pushing his sleeve up further as he goes.

“Yeah. I do.” Xuxi looks up and smiles. “It’s cool, getting to be somewhere different? Classes are hard because my Korean isn’t that great, but I like it. I feel like I’m learning a lot.” He pauses and laughs. “Guanheng and Kun-ge translate a lot for me. They’re probably halfway to a kin degree by now, too.”

“Ah, you’re studying kinese?” Donghyuck waits for Xuxi to nod, his face scrunched up cutely in confusion. “You probably know Jeno, then. My roommate.”

Xuxi hums like he’s thinking. “Is he the one who looks kind of like a samoyed? With the really smiley eyes?”

Donghyuck snorts. “That’s the one. Speaking of, I should make sure that they got home alright.” He pulls one of his hands out of Xuxi’s grasp, ignoring his little whines of protest to dig his phone out of his pocket.

(It’s a little funny, how Xuxi can go from being this tall, hot guy on the dance floor to a literal puppy that just wants to hold Donghyuck’s hand. It’s incredibly endearing.) 

There’s a message from Renjun, letting him know that they all got home safely and that Jaemin collapsed in Donghyuck’s bed after eating two and three-quarters of a cookie from his stash. Donghyuck grins, texting back a bunch of heart emoji’s when he finally looks at the time.

“Fuck, it’s almost four.” Donghyuck’s eyes flick from his phone back to where Xuxi is sitting, still playing with Donghyuck’s hand, drawing intricate patterns along his skin.

“Huh?” Xuxi looks up from whatever he’d been doing to Donghyuck’s hand. “Oh shit. I totally have a group project I have to work on tomorrow morning.”

“You mean this morning?” Donghyuck flashes him his phone so that he can see the time.

“Yeah. In, like… six hours?” Xuxi sighs. “Fuck. Well, it was worth it.” He sits up properly before he holds his hand out expectantly. “Can I walk you home, at least?”

“You sure you have the time?” Donghyuck smiles, placing his palm on top of Xuxi’s. “Don’t want you to fall asleep during your group meeting.”

Xuxi threads their fingers together and squeezes tightly. “Fuck those guys. None of them have been doing any work anyway- last time Felix brought his boyfriend with him and did literally nothing the entire time… and I don’t think I’ve ever even heard the sound of Minghao’s voice! I’m pretty sure he wore sunglasses last time so that he could sleep and we wouldn’t notice.”

Donghyuck laughs, shaking his head. “You’re ridiculous.”

“Yes, but that doesn’t answer my question.” He stands up and gives Donghyuck’s hand another squeeze. “Can I walk you home?”

Donghyuck doesn’t know a lot about Xuxi yet, but if there’s one thing Donghyuck is good at it’s reading people- and following his instincts. 

He nods, jumping down off the stool and knocking Xuxi with his shoulder. “Yeah. Okay. But I can actually walk, okay?”

Xuxi grins, using their joined hands to pull Donghyuck close to his side. “It’s a long way back, Hyuckie. You might get tired... Who knows what could happen.”

“Okay, you dork.” Donghyuck squeezes Xuxi’s hand, feels something take root in his chest like weeds in the bed of a garden, burying themselves in deep. 

The walk from Kun’s to his apartment usually only takes fifteen minutes, but it seems to go even faster hand-in-hand with Xuxi. He only lets Donghyuck go once, right before they leave, to put his jacket on and let Donghyuck give Yangyang and Kun a big hug. They walk in step together, Xuxi's thumb continually rubbing circles on Donghyuck’s knuckles, happy to soak up the affection that Donghyuck gives freely.

It’s too easy to talk to Xuxi, too easy to ask about his life, his friends, his school. Xuxi indulges him, tells him what he wants to know and asks his own questions. Somehow they’ve wound up with Donghyuck retelling the story of Jeno trying to cook pancakes last week, with  _ disastrous  _ results.

"That's why we don't let him anywhere near the stove anymore without supervision." Donghyuck chuckles. "The only thing he's allowed to make is cereal."

Xuxi laughs. "They sound fun, your friends. I'd like to meet them sometime."

"Yeah. That'd be fun." Donghyuck slows his pace as they approach the doors to his apartment building. "This is me," he says, nodding towards the doors.

Xuxi squeezes his hand once before letting him go. He looks soft and sleepy now and Donghyuck's fingers twitch in the cold.

He's not quite sure what to say. He's never  _ gotten  _ to this part before with a boy. 

But, well- yolo or whatever, right?

Donghyuck lifts himself up on his tippy toes (what is he so  _ tall  _ for) to press the tiniest of kisses to Xuxi's cheek. "Thanks for walking me home, hyung," he says, his usual airs dissipating to something more natural, more relaxed. More Donghyuck.

Xuxi's smiling when Donghyuck pulls back, his hands gripping at Donghyuck's sides. "You're welcome, Hyuck." 

Donghyuck grins. Xuxi is so  _ warm.  _ "You shouldn't have given me your hoodie, hyung. I don't know if I want to give it back." 

"Then don't." Xuxi rubs his fingers along the hem of his hoodie, touch ghosting at Donghyuck's skin. "It looks better on you anyway. But you should give me something in return for it." 

It's so cloyingly sweet, so odd for something that began with sharing beers at a party and dirty dancing. "What do you want, my number?" 

Xuxi shakes his head. Donghyuck almost falters, but Xuxi's still smiling. "No. I was thinking that I'd give you mine, then I could cash in for something else? A kiss, maybe?"

Donghyuck swallows thickly. His hands shake a bit with nerves but he nods, gaze flitting up to Xuxi's lips. "I think that can be arranged. But just one- I'll have to keep it for a while to see if it's worth more."

The sun's just starting to peek out from beneath the horizon, startling hues of pinks and blues dancing across Xuxi's skin. Donghyuck pushes himself up on his tippy toes and leans in for a kiss, heart in knots.

(It feels different than kissing his friends. 

How, Donghyuck’s not quite sure yet, but he likes it, really and truly.) 

Xuxi presses a kiss to Donghyuck's hair after they part, smiling into it. "Goodnight, Hyuckie."

Donghyuck's feeling warm and soft all over when he crawls into his bed half an hour later, lips still tingling.

Jaemin shifts over, half-asleep, snuggling up to Donghyuck's back with a sigh. “Have fun, Hyuckie?”

Tucking Jaemin’s arm around his waist more securely, Donghyuck nods. “Yeah, Nana. It was really great.”

“Good.” Jaemin nuzzles the back of his neck sleepily. “Tell me about it in the morning?”

“Yeah, of course.” Donghyuck reaches for his hand to squeeze three times before he falls into a deep sleep, dreaming of pinks and blues and deep shades of red.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment if you can, I'd love to hear your thoughts, ideas, or feelings after reading the first chapter. :) 
> 
> Come yell with me on twitter: [@justtruffle](https://twitter.com/justtruffle)


	2. Mark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One of the few constants in Donghyuck’s life has always been Mark Lee.   
No matter how much time has passed, no matter how long they've gone without seeing each other, just the sight of him is enough to make Donghyuck feel warm all over.  
When did feelings get so complicated?

One of the few constants in Donghyuck’s life has always been Mark Lee. 

They first met back when they were five and six respectfully and Donghyuck was placed with the family next to Mark’s grandparents house. Mark was visiting from Canada and they spent the summer together- Mark with his terrible Korean, Donghyuck with his terrible English, riding their bikes and getting into trouble and terrorizing Mark’s grandmother’s rose bushes.

He’s the only one who’s been in Donghyuck’s life longer than Jeno and Jaemin. They kept in touch when Mark went back to Canada, through Donghyuck bouncing between foster homes to going back with his family in middle school and Mark returning to Korea for high school two districts over. He’s always been around, although they’ve gone through phases of being attached at the hip to hardly talking for days, but somehow they always end up back together no matter how much time might have passed.

And now that they’re both attending the same college, Donghyuck revels in the sliver of Mark’s attention that he wrestles out of Mark’s insanely busy schedule.

“Really, Hyuck? You want to watch _ this?” _The look Mark gives him is incredulous. 

Donghyuck grins, settling properly back into the passenger seat of Mark’s station wagon. 

(Well. It’s actually Johnny’s, but Mark somehow convinced him to give him driving lessons, and now that Mark’s gotten his license he gets the car every second weekend. It’s the result of some sort of bet he won, and Mark refuses to divulge the details.)

“Yes.” Donghyuck nods, waving the DVD of his choice for their movie night tonight- one of their traditions that they picked back up from when they were kids, monthly movie nights with too much popcorn and soda- in his hands. “Titanic is a classic, Mark.”  
“A classic.” Mark snorts, turning the keys in the ignition of the car. He looks a little sleepy and cozy today in a pair of grey sweatpants and a matching sweatshirt, the set Donghyuck had worked his ass off and saved up to buy for Mark’s twentieth birthday. “You’ve been spending too much time with Jaemin.”

"Well what were _ you _going to suggest, Mark? Too Fast Too Furious? Yeah, that’s a pass for lil fudge over here.”

Mark's nose scrunches up as he smiles. “Did you just call yourself lil fudge?”

“Well I’m sure as hell not big fudge, Mark.” Donghyuck grins, turning over to see Mark laugh, warmth spilling from him from the outside in at the ease with which they always fit together- the ease with which they slide back into their banter even though they haven’t seen each other in weeks.

Mark’s also really, really pretty when he smiles.

(Oh, yeah. That years-long crush he mentioned earlier?

It's on Mark.

Safe to say, things in Donghyuck’s life are complicated.)

“Are you even listening to me?”

Donghyuck’s thoughts halt and he glances over to see Mark peering over at him from above his glasses, lips drawn into a cute little pout as they wait at a stoplight. 

“I left my notebook in my other jeans so I can’t take any notes, sorry.” Donghyuck flashes him a cheeky grin, knows he can get away with just about anything when it’s just him and Mark. “What did you say?”

“I _ said _ that I was going to let you choose the movie anyway, even if you chose something as cliché as _ Titanic.” _Mark smirks, focusing his attention back on the road and missing Donghyuck’s betrayed expression.

“I’m telling Nana you said that.” Donghyuck turns his attention out the car window where the rain’s picked up, splattering against the glass rhythmically. It’s soothing- the slow, soft, continuous sound. It helps to calm his thoughts and fill all the normally noisy corners in his brain.

“Where are we going?” He asks when he realizes that they’ve passed the turns to both his house and Mark’s flat. Mark had picked him up after his shift at work so that they could hang out, and they don’t often hang out anywhere else.

Mark squirms a bit in the driver's seat. If Donghyuck didn’t know any better, he’d say that he looks almost a little nervous. “Well actually- I kind of had an idea.”

Curiosity piqued, Donghyuck hums. “Go on?”

“Well. I was back in Canada for the summer and I missed your birthday, right?”

“Yeah? That was months ago hyung, it’s fine.” Donghyuck shrugs. He’s kind of gotten used to it- Mark’s been here in Korea studying since high school, but he’s never around whenever he gets a chunk of time off of school. And Donghyuck gets it, he really does- if he had a family he loves as much as Mark loves his, he’d want to go and visit them too. 

(He does, in a way- Jaemin and Jeno’s families never objected to his tagging along when his own family couldn’t be bothered. Even Jaemin’s brother Jisung, who _ hates _skinship, smiled so relieved and pulled Donghyuck into a hug when he showed up on their family’s porch last New Year's, missing his phone or even a good explanation. 

So it’s not as bad as it has been in the past.)  
Mark looks over when they hit a patch of traffic and he slows to a halt. “Well, you just… you remember back when we were kids, you told me what you really wanted to do on your nineteenth birthday...to celebrate officially being able to be on your own?”

Something presses at the base of Donghyuck’s spine, feelings sprouting in his chest like weeds in the flowerbed of a garden. “Hyung, we were like eleven-”

“Yeah, well, I know, and I’m the asshole who wasn’t around on your birthday, and- and I know it’s super late and everything but yeah. Um. Now that we can…” he gestures at the steering wheel. “Now that _ I _can, I thought. Maybe you’d want to?”

Donghyuck chews on his lower lip. He remembers too well all the things he’d said- how messed up everything had been back then, how much time he used to spend fantasizing about what life would be like when he was finally able to be free. 

It happened so long ago that he’d completely forgotten all about it.

“I can’t believe you remember that.” Donghyuck looks down at his lap, fingers all twisted together. _ “I _barely remember that, hyung.”

“Yeah, well. You’re important.” Mark shrugs, chancing a look over at Donghyuck. “You still want to go camping?”

Okay, so.

Maybe calling it camping is a bit of a stretch.

Neither of them have the ability to take any real time off of school or the money for real camping supplies. But it sure as hell is the kindest and sweetest thing that anyone's ever done for Donghyuck.

Mark drives them out to the outskirts of town, to a lookout point they used to visit as kids. With the weather so bad, the sky full of rain and clouds there's no stars to be seen so they're the only ones there. Mark moves the car into park and fishes out an umbrella, insisting that Donghyuck stay in his seat until he can walk over to fetch him properly, keeping them both dry for when he pulls open the hatch and they both climb in.

Donghyuck can't help the big, stupid smile that warms his face.

Mark's gotten it all set up- fluffy pillows and warm, fuzzy blankets piled in the back, even the old Eevee plushie he's had for ages that he knows Donghyuck is fond of tucked into the pile. Lights and a little lantern- probably whatever battery-operated lamps he could find- keep the space illuminated, Mark's laptop case propped up amongst the the back of the seats.

It's Instagram worthy, for sure, and completely unexpected. "Where did this come from?" Donghyuck asks as he climbs in, pulling off his shoes to tuck underneath the car to not track in dirt.

Mark shakes out the umbrella before he climbs in too, half falling on top of Donghyuck with a laugh. "Taeyong-hyungie helped me." He smiles sheepishly. "I know I missed a lot of your birthdays, but this one is special. I wanted it to be perfect, but I didn't really know what to do since we can't _ actually _ go camping… I hope this is alright as a compromise." 

Donghyuck's smile grows. Mark's cutest when he's flustered. "It's amazing, hyungie. I love it."

He has no intention of sharing this with anyone else, though. Instagram can go fuck itself; he wants to keep this bubble of intimacy all to himself.

(He does make a mental note to give Taeyong a big hug thank you, though.)

Mark’s never been the best at talking about how he feels. Donghyuck can count on one hand the amount of times that Mark has told him he misses him- even fewer times has he said _ I love you. _But he shows he cares with his actions- and Donghyuck feels so warm and soft all over knowing that Mark went through all this trouble for him.

“You didn’t have to do any of this,” Donghyuck says, just once, because he feels like it needs to be said. He’s never held anything against Mark; he’s busy and that’s okay. 

“I know.” Mark shrugs, settling in a little more comfortably, unzipping his hoodie and tossing it into the backseat. He’s wearing his high school debate club team shirt, because apparently his school had one of those and of course Mark was a part of it. Fucking nerd. “I wanted to, though. What did you end up doing on your birthday?”

Donghyuck follows suit, pulling the hoodie he’d been wearing over his head (belatedly, he realizes that it’s borrowed- not his) and tosses it alongside Mark’s. “Jaemin and Jeno took me out bar hopping. They seemed to both conveniently forget that Jeno has less of a tolerance for alcohol than _ you.” _

Mark snorts a laugh. “Oh my god. Jeno’s ready for bed after like, one beer.”

“I know. Apparently, after six, he transforms into a new Jeno I hadn’t met until that night: Slutty Jeno.” Donghyuck can’t help but smile at the memory.

“Slutty Jeno?” Mark’s eyebrows shoot up so high that they disappear entirely behind his bangs. “What, did he try and hook up with someone?”

“This is still Jeno we’re talking about! He’s scared of strangers. He tried to be super confident, walked up to this hot guy and tapped on his shoulder like he was going to talk to him, but as soon as the guy turned around he gay panicked, spun backwards and literally ran away from him. Like, he didn’t just retreat- homie _ booked it _across the bar and almost took out this poor server carrying a tray of drinks.” Donghyuck laughs, recalling the memory fondly. “He hid behind Jaemin and was attached to us for the rest of the night. No, no hookups, he just got super handsy with us and wouldn’t stop pouting until I kissed him.”

Mark chokes on the drink of water he was trying to take. “You kissed him?”

“I think the technical term is making out.” Donghyuck reaches over to pluck the bottle of water from Mark’s hands to take a drink himself. “Turns out he’s like a really good kisser? It kind of pissed me off, to be honest. So I had to keep going to show him that I’m better, and we kind of lost track of it until Jaemin draped himself on my back and whined that he needed to throw up. Buzzkill.”

After years of being friends, Mark should be used to Donghyuck’s antics; but he never seems to be, and every time dissolves into a fit of cute giggles. “God Hyuck, how do you turn even kissing into a competition?”

“What can I say, it’s a gift.” Donghyuck smiles proudly. _ He _ made Mark laugh like that. Despite his best efforts, he can’t squash the rush of feelings growing in the pit of his gut, twisted and tangled and begging to be let free. “Oh, and the best part? After taking Jaemin to the bathroom to you know make sure that he didn’t die, I came back to our table and Jeno was just like, _ gone. _Gone gone. Of course I start to panic because you know how bad Jeno is with directions and he gets easily startled when he’s alone- and so I’m looking for him all over, dragging a half-awake Jaemin who keeps trying to fall asleep on my shoulder thinking like, oh god. If I lost Jeno forever, Doyoung is totally going to kill me. Like, he’ll hunt me down, stuff me and mount me on the wall as some sort of sick and twisted trophy. Not that I’d blame him- Jeno is a treasure that needs to be protected, you know?”

“Of course,” Mark says, properly adjusting the blankets so that they’re both cozy and comfy. “I mean, putting you on his wall is really the only way to properly avenge his brother.”

“Right? So like, I’m starting to kind of panic because I’ve circled the bar three times and had to walk past the same stupid girl wearing this _ awful _unicorn dress and- then the song that’s playing ends, and the music gets really quiet. The DJ comes over the sound system and really awkwardly clears his throat.”

“Oh my god.” Mark gapes. “He didn’t?”

“He did.” Donghyuck sighs. “Never did I imagine at the ripe age of nineteen I’d be getting called to the DJ booth of _ The Jungle _ like a mom who lost her kid at Costco, but there was DJ Train Wreck calling for a _ Lee Donghyun _to come and collect his kiddo. Yes, that was his choice of words. Jeno was fine, by the way, just really interested by the lights on the booth, sat down and forgot how to use his legs. Long story short, I looked like a boss walking out with a hot boy on each arm and spent the rest of the night trapped between Jeno and Jaemin in my tiny bed because they insisted on coming back with me but seemed to forget that my room was a shoebox and I slept in a bed that probably came out of a Barbie Dream House.”

Mark smiles. “It sounds like you had fun.”

“Yeah, I did.” Donghyuck slides a bit closer to Mark, feeling a soft sort of shift in the atmosphere. “So don’t worry about me, hyung. Okay?”

“Worry? About you?” Mark scoffs. “Hyuck, I watched you absolutely tear apart a guy twice your size back in high school when you heard him being a dick to his girlfriend. Actually, that wasn’t a guy, that was a mountain, and he was rightfully afraid of you. I know that you can very much take care of yourself.” Mark leans in a little closer to ruffle Donghyuck’s hair, ignoring his protests about messing it up. “But you kind of suck at asking for help when you’re feeling lonely, so I’m glad that Jaemin and Jeno were there with you.”

Mark’s words should be embarrassing, but for some reason, they aren’t.

(Maybe it’s kind of nice for Donghyuck to get called out on his shit sometimes. It's a nice reminder that his friends are actually paying attention.)

“What about you, Mark? Tell me more about the six hundred and fifty three clubs you’ve been roped into joining this year.”

“Um, it’s six hundred and fifty _ two _ clubs, actually,” Mark counters, knocking Donghyuck with his shoulder. “And it was actually only supposed to be three! Baseball, Music Design and chess club.” He pointedly ignores Donghyuck’s snort. “But then Kai-hyung cornered me and convinced me to join the swimming team he coaches, and did you know that there’s a Canadian Students Association? Well apparently there is, because Wendy hoodwinked me into going and somehow I’m now the vice president? I didn’t _ know _I was signing up for the Sustainability Squad until I had literally gotten to the beach they were cleaning up, so I couldn’t just leave Felix there by himself. Hansol really really needed more people for his Star Wars club or else they were going to lose their funding. After I joined the swimming team, Jaehyun-hyung basically twisted my arm until I joined the soccer team. And then there’s the Super Smash Bros club, but honestly I still don’t get that one. They just want to play video games and get high, so does that still count as a club?”

Donghyuck bursts into laughter. “What? Where do I sign up!”

Mark smirks knowingly. “Joshua-hyung’s basement?”

For a while, they just talk, and honestly- it’s kind of Donghyuck’s favourite thing to do with Mark.

They both have busy lives, and at this point in their life going a whole week without talking is like an _ eternity. _ A lot can happen in one week- in one week alone Donghyuck let himself be talked into dying his hair rainbow, kidnapped Jungwoo’s pet hamster because Jungwoo had scarred that poor thing enough with all of his random hookups (RIP Hamtaro, 2017-2019), lost the hamster in the vents of his apartment, had a team of seven boys trying to coax him _ out _of the vents (Jaemin, Jeno, Johnny and Taeyong was literally useless, as were Yuta and Sicheng. They only found success when Taeil called Hyuck, worried that he’d missed a class, and come over to help them out of the mess. Turns out, Taeil is a verified Hamster Whisperer) and ended the week by bombing an exam, leading to a quarter-life crisis where he questioned his entire future in music and he and Jaemin got absolutely shitfaced in the bathtub while listening to the Lion King soundtrack. 

Good times. 

Eventually they remember the movie and settle in more comfortably to watch. Mark plugs his laptop into a battery pack and pops the movie in the DVD drive, settling down against a few pillows. Donghyuck pulls up a few of the blankets, poking and prodding Mark until he moves where he wants him to go so that he can settle in next to him, maneuvering Mark’s arm around his shoulder.

For as long as Mark and Donghyuck have been friends, public skinship has always been a point of contention in their friendship.

While Jaemin leans into Donghyuck’s affection, tangles their hands together and clings to his back and Jeno has learned to embrace it, shedding his shyness and clinging to Donghyuck from time to time, Mark has never done any of that.

He always makes a show.

He laughs and jokes while he pushes Donghyuck away, or whines and pinches Donghyuck’s cheek until he lets go of Mark’s arm or hand or whatever he’s grabbed on to. Sometimes it’s easy to brush that off but other times Donghyuck sulks, climbing into someone else’s embrace (usually a laughing Jaemin, an exasperated Jeno or, more recently, a resigned Renjun) like a pouty child when Mark pushes too far.

However, the important word here is _ public. _

Whenever they’re alone?

It’s a whole other story.

When they’re alone, Mark likes to cuddle. He likes to _ cling. _

Donghyuck doesn’t know why. He’s never been able to find the words to ask, too afraid that if he brings attention to the fact that they’re doing the one thing Mark seems to usually hate that he’ll run away like a scared little deer. 

No. The reason doesn’t seem to matter when Donghyuck gets to press his nose to the column of Mark’s neck, gets to snuggle in like a cat, and Mark doesn’t just allow it. He encourages it with the way his fingers find their way to Donghyuck’s hair, gently scratching his scalp in that way he knows Donghyuck likes.

The movie plays in front of his eyes, but Donghyuck doesn’t really focus on it. He’s seen it enough times to have a vague idea of what’s going on for when Mark inevitably asks questions, but it seems like a much better use of his time to instead just revel in the moment; soak up how good he feels and how much he’d missed Mark.

It’s still raining when the movie finally ends, but by that point Donghyuck’s drifting off, snuggled up on Mark’s chest. It’s fine- he’s sure that Mark will text his roommates so that they know where he is.

He’s reliable like that.

Donghyuck wakes up in the morning, the bright morning sunshine streaming in through the windows. He stirs a little, blinking as he tries to escape from the light, rolling over and pressing his face into the nearest thing he can grab.

Turns out, that thing is Mark Lee’s chest. 

_ “Hyuck,” _he whines, warm skin shifting beneath Donghyuck’s palms, whining when Donghyuck starts to laugh.

It’s the best way to wake up, in Donghyuck’s humble opinion.

The morning is lazy and easy, climbing back into the front of the car, Donghyuck still wrapped up as he is in one of Mark’s blankets. Mark, the gentleman that he is, stops at a drive-thru for breakfast and Donghyuck sips on a coffee as he flicks through music for the drive back to his apartment, happily humming along, the windows rolled down and the fresh air streaming in.

There’s no wrestling needed when Donghyuck leans over for a hug before they part, and Donghyuck smiles as he opens the car door. 

“See you soon?” He asks, always hopeful.

Mark just grins, reaching over to ruffle Donghyuck’s hair. “I almost forgot about the archery club. Wanna do some shooting tomorrow night?”

Donghyuk laughs, rolling his eyes. “Oh my god hyung, what you really need is a nap club. When do you sleep between all of this?”

“Why do I need a nap club? I wanna nap, I’ll just come here. Besides, your bed’s a lot more comfortable than mine anyways.” Mark shrugs, like what he’s saying is no big deal.

Donghyuck books it out of the car before Mark can see how flustered he is, dashing up the stairs to his apartment instead of waiting for the elevator. He slams the door behind him and leans against it, taking in a deep breath.

His phone buzzes and he pulls it out of his pocket, the message instantly making him smile.

🍣 : good morning sunshine !!! ☀️

When did feelings get so complicated?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come talk to me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/justtruffle) :) 
> 
> Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment if you can. I want to be posting more regularly in 2020, so I hope to have the next chapter up soon- maybe when this hits 100 kudos? ;)


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